I am officially pregnant!
After weeks of uncertainty, I got my second ultrasound and we saw the best thing in the whole wide world… A little tiny minion with a fluttering heartbeat residing in my gut.
It. Was. AMAZING.
I was soooooo scared that things weren’t going to turn out the way that they did. When I was pregnant with Kaia I never had that fear of miscarriage that women who find out they are pregnant in a reasonable time frame have. I was already 13 weeks along when I went to my first OB appointment, and everything looked so good on the ultrasound and my doctor told me that I was well out of the first trimester scary zone, so I just never worried. I had a smooth pregnancy, a dream really. The kind most women wish they could have (something I did NOT take for granted and am still extremely grateful for). So, this testing positive at not quite 4 weeks, and not seeing anything on the ultrasound, and having questionable hCG results… completely foreign and TERRIFYING territory for me. I have so much more compassion for women who are left in limbo wondering if they are going to stay pregnant. It’s one of the worst places I have ever been mentally.
Now, we wait. I gotta say, this finding out in the first trimester business is nonsense. Time is creeping by SO SLOWLY. My pregnancy with Kaia FLEW by, but so far this time it feels like every day is lasting 72 hours and every minutes is lasting 180 seconds. Next time I think I may be knockered I am going to hold off a little longer on testing, and just take prenatals as a precaution, so that I can “skip” the first few months like I did last time. =P
So, that’s my amazing, joyful, ecstatic, world changing (at least MY world) update! As of right now I am due January 25th, 2012, which is exactly one day less than one year from Kaia’s due date (which was January 26, 2011). It looks like Adam and I will be the proud parents of Irish Twins. =D We have also decided (although no guarantees this decision will stick) that we do not want to find out the babies gender before birth. With Nikaia, I felt girl SO STRONGLY right from the start, so I had to know if I was right because it was driving me crazy! Now that I have my girl, I am honestly okay with another little girl, or a little boy, so we want to try and wait it out and find out on their birthday. Nikaia’s birth, although the best day of my life to this point because it changed EVERYTHING, was not as exciting as it would have been had I gone through normal labor. It was very sterile, and scheduled, and serene. It was amazing, but I really think that adding the “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!” to the delivery this time around will make it that much more exciting for us! So, that’s the plan!
Thank you to everyone who knew about what we were going through during all of this. Your support meant the world to me! ❤