Out of the scary zone…

Today I had my out of the scary zone appointment…. That first OB appointment after the chances of miscarriage drop significantly (which is around 10 weeks gestation). I went in concerned about a few things. First, of course, that everything was okay. This early on it’s hard to be confident even if you don’t have any adverse symptoms just because you can’t FEEL the baby moving around. I was also scared that my doctor was going to push back my due date, again. We went in initially thinking I was going to be due around January 6, 2012, and then were shocked to find out that I had ovulated a whole 19 days late and was almost three weeks less pregnant than I thought. Even more shocking is that he set a tentative due date for January 25th, which was just one day before (or 364 days after, depending on how you look at it) Nikaia’s due date. Knowing that my last ultrasound was still early, and my doctor never said that my due date was set in stone last time, I was super paranoid that I was going to have to get used to yet another EDD. I knew that this appointment would be my “official” date though. Once he sets a for sure date, he doesn’t change it.

When we got there the first two people to see Nikaia, the nurse and my OB, both commented on how big she is. Those comments used to really hurt my feelings, and to be honest they still sting a little even though I know they shouldn’t. After being made fun of for being overweight, feeling self conscious about my own weight, and my struggle with obesity really effecting my self esteem, I think it is normal to immediately jump on the defense and get your feelers a little hurt when someone starts calling you or someone you love “big”. Logically I know that it means something TOTALLY different for a baby than it does for a grown woman (something that fully hit me today during my appointment), and I am working on embracing that she is a big girl instead of trying to defend it as if there is something wrong with it. Nikaia is big in every way, not just her chunky little thighs, but her personality as well. She is a little baby super star already, full of huge personality and (although I am bias I will still say it) totally adorable. I mention this for a reason, that will soon make sense as I finish talking about my appointment. =P

On to the appointment itself… When I got all measured (+2lbs, BP 115/75, urine sugars and protein normal) and went back to the room, I chatted with my doctor for a minute about how I am feeling and then hopped up on the table to take a look. I am very lucky in that I get an ultrasound every visit until about 34 weeks when the baby starts to get too big to see effectively. It is extremely reassuring to get to see what’s going on in there and see how much the babe is growing every time I go in, especially before I can feel anything. When my doctor unbuttoned my pants (that sounds so wrong… lol) and squeezed the goo on my belly, he said “You are a big girl!” and I was immediately like WHAT?!?!?!?! I couldn’t believe he was pointing out that I was overweight, especially since he has been seeing me consistently for a year now, and he has never said something like that! Then he said “My first daughter was big like you, too!” and I realized… He was talking to Nikaia. D’oh. That’s when it hit me, that sense of relief that he was talking about her… being a big baby is good!

Now that my irrational thoughts about Nikaia being a chubby monkey had passed, I shifted my focus to the ACTUAL reason we were there… Ultrasound! When we first found the babe it was just laying in there chillin’. My doctor said that we wouldn’t even bother looking for a heartbeat if we could get the baby to move, since it obviously couldn’t move if it didn’t have a beating heart, and as soon as he said it… BAM! Little mini Alexander #2 started bobbing and weaving like crazy. We just sat there and watched mesmerized for a good 3 or 4 minutes before anyone talked. =P

During the ultrasound I informed my doctor that we do not want to find out the gender before the baby is born this time, and he seemed excited at the prospect. I get the feeling he doesn’t have too many patients that decide to wait. I let it slip that Adam is really good at reading ultrasounds, and if he catches a glimpse of the goods he will probably be able to tell the gender, so my doctor promised me he would avoid letting him get a sneak peak. =D

After the ultrasound we went over a few things, including a short talk about my desires for delivery. Since I have delivered with him before, and I had a c-section only 5 months ago, I let him know that I am open to another c-section. He seemed relieved, I had a feeling he would be, and so that is the plan for the time being. I am, of course, able to change my mind later as long as I don’t have any complications that would prevent me from trying for a VBAC, but with the increased risk of things like placental rupture when you attempt a VBAC so soon after a c-section I am definitely leaning towards another c-section. My biggest concern with another c-section was timing, though. With my due date so close to my daughters birthday I want to guarantee that it isn’t scheduled on her birthday. As awesome as I may think it would be to have two kids born exactly a year apart, I don’t even want either of my kids to feel like they don’t have their OWN birthday, or like I chose to somehow merge it together instead of choosing to give them each their own special day. Thankfully, my doctor assured me that because I work full time (and we are reliant on my income to live), and because I not only have a small child at home but her birthday is so near my due date, I would have more control over choosing the day than I did with my daughter. He is going to do everything he can to give me the day I want.

Of course, I have already thought about a number of possible days, and decided on the one I want. I am a control freak like that. January 16, 2012. Barring some unforeseen circumstance like going into labor early, that is the day I am going to ask to have my c-section scheduled. ❤

So, that is my day in a very large nutshell! Before I wrap this up, I will share my ultrasound pictures! My doctor’s ultrasound machine may very well be as old as I am (no complaints since I get to see the minion every visit until around 34 weeks), so I apologize that the pictures aren’t super clear.


One thought on “Out of the scary zone…

  1. My 1st daughter was “big” too and I was so defensive when perfect strangers would say how she was big. I didn’t actually look at it as a positive until I saw a very small, frail looking child and realized my baby would survive a severe illness better than a baby that was extra small. I looked at it much different and was thankful she was so healthy. I also had plenty of moms stop me and tell me they miss when their children were chunky because now that they were older they had lost all their baby fat. Congrats on your pregnancy!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s