The first thing that I want to tell you is that I love you. I have loved you from the moment I found out you were coming, and I still love you just as much… no, more… than I did then. You are my second, and I want to make sure that you never feel second best. I love you as much, although in different ways than, your sister. Although I am sure that at times I will fail, I promise that I will try to never compare you to Nikaia in any way that makes you feel like you aren’t good enough. You are good enough, you are smart enough, you are brave enough, you are beautiful enough… YOU are more than enough all by yourself. On the same token… You entering our lives was an addition to the family, not a substitution or a replacement for anything your sister was lacking. You are two very unique, very special, very amazing little girls and while we will never love you exactly the same (since you are two very different people), we will always love you both with our whole hearts. There will be no splitting our love between you, you both get ALL of the love we have to give.
There are so many things I hope for you. I hope that you will be ridiculously happy with whatever life you create for yourself. I hope that you will take the time to stop and smell the roses. I hope that you will find a creative outlet that allows you to release your sadness and express your happiness. I hope you will find your voice and never be afraid to use it. I hope that you will know the joy of carrying a baby and I hope that motherhood will impact your life the way that being your mother has impacted mine. I hope that you will recognize and utilize the ambition that you have inside of you. As a baby you had hip dysplasia and needed therapy to do simple things like roll, crawl, and transition from one position to another. You never let your limited range of motion stop you from doing what you wanted to do. As a baby you couldn’t care less what prognosis doctors gave you, you didn’t understand those silly words and continued to work towards whatever you wanted no matter what came out of your doctor’s mouth. I hope that as an adult you will continue to let the silly words of others pass right by you and go for what you want no matter what anyone else thinks about it.
Right now you are 10 months old, and already I see a fire in you that I wish I had in me throughout my life. Your determination and your attitude while you work so hard to do things that other babies do with ease, is absolutely inspiring to watch. You don’t need inspirational quotes, or pep talks, or an adult understanding of the importance of reaching your goals… All you need is that shiny toy in the corner that looks oh so delicious. Your motivation isn’t muddied by someone else’s opinion of you, your self worth isn’t defined by your ability to keep up with anyone else, you do what you want to do because YOU want to do it. This attitude is lost on so many people as they grow, or they never have it at all. You are special, though. You are brave. Watching you has renewed my own sense of self, and brought me new life, not just in the form of you but within me, too. You being here and causing me to change more diapers, spend more money, do more housework, and wake up more often isn’t the only change you have brought… you have caused a change for the better within me just by being you, and you didn’t even have to try.
Your father and I are so happy that you came into our family. We are so grateful that we get to be your parents. We are overjoyed that you are Nikaia’s sister. We love you so much!